Parole in piena libertà Perché, per quanto si impegnino a farci smettere, continuiamo a pensare.

7 novembre 2004

Customer care

Filed under: Tales — Marco @ 23:11

Abbiamo tutti letto quelle simpatiche raccolte di domande fatte ai customer care di diverse societa’, piu’ che altro venditori di computer. Per esempio il cliente spiega che il portabicchiere (il lettore di CD) non funziona piu’, oppure quando il tecnico chiede al cliente se ha attaccato la spina si sente rispondere “spina”?

Mi sono chiesto diverse volte se fossero vere. E’ vero che non c’e’ limite al peggio, ma alcune sembrano esagerate.

Soprattutto, i customer care sono tutti composti da individui cosi’ brillanti da potersi permettere di considerare il resto del mondo stupido?

Probabilmente si’.

Oggi il registratore digitale del ricevitore satellitare ha smesso di funzionare e mi ha dato un messaggio di errore. Il ricevitore e’ in comodato d’uso, ovvero non e’ mio, per cui ho telefonato al numero indicato sul messaggio di errore (corrispondente a Dish Network, non al costruttore del ricevitore).

Dopo una telefonata durante la quale ho dovuto sforzarmi per restare tranquillo, ho deciso di scrivere al customer support di Dish Network, per far presente che non sono esattamente soddisfatto.

Quella che segue e’ la letterina, che spero possa farvi fare qualche risata, ma soprattutto farvi dubitare della prossima raccolta di “stupidi clienti del customer care”.

—————————————————–

Dear Sirs or Madams,

today (11/7/2004 at about 12:30pm) my Dish Network DVR stopped working.

The TV showed the message “Error 311 – A serious problem has been detected with your hard disk drive, error code 0457 – please call 1-800-333-DISH(3474).
I unplugged the power cord and rebooted the equipment, with the same result.

I called that number and after a series of “press this, press that” I was put in contact with a “Chris”.

I reported the inconvenient, including the error code, to Chris.

More or less in this order, the questions Chris asked me were:

– are you sure the TV is switched on?
Please let me know where Chris thought I was reading the error code.

– is the weather fine out there?
Please let me know what the weather has to do with “a serious problem with the hard disk”. By the way, the weather was fine.

Then Chris told me that the hard disk was full, so I had to delete some programs.
The hard disk is not full (I have more than 90 hours available), I regularly delete programs once I have watched them and, mostly, I cannot access the hard disk to do anything, because “a serious problem has been detected”.

So Chris asked me to unplug the power cord. I told him I already did that, but I could do it again. I unplugged the power cord and told Chris I did. He asked me if the light on the receiver went off. It did, I guess because I unplugged the power cord. After a few seconds of embarassed silence Chris asked me to plug the power cord again, which I did.
He asked me if the receiver was searching for the satellite signal, showing step 1 of 5 or 2 of 5. I said it was and Chris told me to make sure the TV was switched on. I wonder what Chris would have asked me if I reported that the TV was black. Where did he think I was reading step 2 of 5?

While searching for satellites the receiver continued the diagnostics and gave the same error message.

At that point Chris asked me to wait and put me on hold.

When he got back on the phone he told me that you will be shipping a new receiver in three days (three days?????), and I’ll have to read the paper accompanying the new receiver. I will have to ship the old one back. If I fail to ship it back within 10 days I will be charged and if you will find out I tampered with the old receiver I will be charged.

At that point I asked if he were telling me I was going to be without receiver/DVR for three days. Chris said yes, so I asked if it would show on my bill. Chris asked me if I had already called SBC billing department. The answer is no, because the defective receiver told me to call Dish Network customer support. Well, I have to call SBC billing, which I guess will be uneffective, which is probably the reason why I was told to do so.

So, my experience with your customer support so far is:

– first step, the receiver must be good, so I must be stupid. Is the TV switched on? Duh.

– second step, the guy on the phone, Chris, did not have a clue of what I was talking about. Error 0457? Hard disk? What’s the weather like?

– third step, you are going to change the receiver, but if you find out it has been tampered with you’ll make me pay dearly, because, again, I must be stupid or dishonest.

At the very end of the phone call, I told Chris I really hadn’t liked to be treated by him as if I were stupid. He replied that he was not treating me as if I were stupid, but he was trying to collect the necessary information. Which I gave him in the first, if I can add my two cents.

Please allow me to say that if your TECHNICAL Customer Support is this you are in serious trouble.

3 novembre 2004

Discorsi

Filed under: Tales — Marco @ 23:10

Elezioni del presidente degli Stati Uniti finite, tempo per i due candidati, vincitore e sconfitto, di rivolgersi agli elettori.

Prima Kerry, per accettare la sua sconfitta e la vittoria di Bush, poi Bush, per accettare la vittoria.

Un sogno? I politici italiani che imparano a vincere e a perdere.

Riporto di seguito, in lingua originale, non filtrati dalle televisioni e dai giornali italiani, non filtrati da una mia traduzione, i discorsi di Kerry e Bush.

Toglietevi lo sfizio di confrontarli con i discorsi di un qualunque politico italiano, di qualsiasi partito, che abbia vinto o perso le elezioni.

———————————————————————–

KERRY: Thank you so much. You just have no idea how warming and how generous that welcome is, your love is, your affection. And I’m gratified by it.

I’m sorry that we got here a little bit late and little bit short.

I spoke to President Bush and I offered him and Laura our congratulations on their victory.

KERRY: We had a good conversation, and we talked about the danger of division in our country and the need — the desperate need for unity, for finding the common ground, coming together.

Today I hope that we can begin the healing.

(APPLAUSE)

In America, it is vital that every vote count, and that every vote be counted. But the outcome should be decided by voters, not a protracted legal process. I would not give up this fight if there was a chance that we would prevail.

KERRY: But is now clear that even when all the provisional ballots are counted, which they will be, there won’t be enough outstanding votes for us to be able to win Ohio.

And therefore we cannot win this election.

My friends, it was here that we began our campaign for the presidency and all we had was hope and vision for a better America. It was a privilege and a gift to spend two years traveling this country, coming to know so many of you.

I wish that I could just wrap you up in my arms and embrace each and every one of you individually all across this nation. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

(APPLAUSE)

KERRY: Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

AUDIENCE MEMBER: (inaudible) loves you.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: We still got your back.

KERRY: Thank you, man.

(LAUGHTER)

And I’m…

(APPLAUSE)

And I assure you, you watch, I’ll still love yours. So hang in there.

(APPLAUSE)

KERRY: I will always be particularly grateful to the colleague that you just heard from who became my partner, my very close friend, an extraordinary leader, John Edwards.

(APPLAUSE)

And I thank him for everything he did.

Thank you, sir.

(APPLAUSE)

KERRY: John and I would be the first to tell you that we owe so much to our families. They’re here with us today. They were with us every single step of the way. They sustained us.

They went out on their own and they multiplied our campaign all across this country.

No one did this more with grace and with courage and candor, that I love, than my wife Teresa, and I thank her.

(APPLAUSE)

And our children were there every single step of the way. It was unbelievable. Vanessa, Alex, Chris, Andre and John from my family, and Elizabeth Edwards, who is so remarkable and so strong and so smart.

(APPLAUSE)

KERRY: And Johnny and Kate, who went out there on their own, just like my daughters did. And also Emma Claire and Jack, who were up beyond their bedtime last night, like a lot of us.

(APPLAUSE)

I want to thank my crewmates and my friends from 35 years ago, that great band of brothers who criss-crossed this country on my behalf for 2004.

(APPLAUSE)

KERRY: They had the courage to speak the truth back then and they spoke it again this year. And for that, I will forever be grateful.

And thanks also, as I look around here, to friends and family of a lifetime, some from college, friends made all across the years, and then all across the miles of this campaign.

You are so special. You brought the gift of your passion for our country and the possibilities of change. And that will stay with us and with this country forever.

Thanks to Democrats and Republicans and independents who stood with us, and everyone who voted, no matter who their candidate was.

And thanks to my absolutely unbelievable, dedicated staff lead by a wonderful campaign manager, Mary Beth Cahill, who did an extraordinary job.

(APPLAUSE)

KERRY: There’s so much written about campaigns and there’s so much that Americans never get to see.

I wish they could all spend a day on a campaign and see how hard these folks work to make America better. It is its own unbelievable contribution to our democracy and it’s a gift to everybody, but especially to me, and I’m grateful to each and every one of you.

And I thank your families and I thank you for the sacrifices you’ve made. And to all the volunteers all across this country who gave so much of themselves. You know, thanks to William Field (ph), a 6-year-old who collected $680 a quarter and a dollar at a time, selling bracelets during the summer to help change America.

(APPLAUSE)

Thanks to Michael Benson (ph) from Florida, who I spied in a rope line holding a container of money and it turned out he had raided his piggy bank and wanted to contribute.

And thanks to Ilana Wexler, 11 years old, who started Kids for Kerry all across our country.

(APPLAUSE)

KERRY: I think of the brigades of students and people, young and old, who took time to travel, time off from work, their own vacation time, to work in states far and wide. They braved the hot days of summer and the cold days of the fall and the winter to knock on door because they were determined to open the doors of opportunity to all Americans.

They worked their hearts out. And I wish, you don’t know how much, that I could have brought this race home for you, for them.

And I say to them now: Don’t lose faith. What you did made a difference.

KERRY: And building on itself, we go on to make a difference another day.

I promise you, that time will come, the time will come, the election will come, when your work and your ballots will change the world. And it’s worth fighting for.

I want to especially say to the American people: In this journey, you have given me the honor and the gift of listening and learning from you.

I have visited your homes, I visited your churches, I visited your community halls, I’ve heard your stories.

I know your struggles, I know your hopes. They are part of me now.

And I will never forget you and I’ll never stop fighting for you.

(APPLAUSE)

You may not understand completely in what ways, but it is true when I say to you that you have taught me and you have tested me and you’ve lifted me up and you’ve made me stronger.

I did my best to express my vision and my hopes for America. We worked hard and we fought hard, and I wish that things had turned out a little differently.

But in an American election, there are no losers, because whether or not our candidates are successful, the next morning we all wake up as Americans.

(APPLAUSE)

That is the greatest privilege and the most remarkable good fortune that can come to us on Earth.

KERRY: With that gift also comes obligation. We are required now to work together for the good of our country.

In the days ahead, we must find common cause. We must join in common effort, without remorse or recrimination, without anger or rancor. America is in need of unity and longing for a larger measure of compassion.

I hope President Bush will advance those values in the coming years.

I pledge to do my part to try to bridge the partisan divide.

I know this is a difficult time for my supporters, but I ask them, all of you, to join me in doing that. Now, more than ever, with our soldiers in harm’s way, we must stand together and succeed in Iraq and win the war on terror.

KERRY: I will also do everything in my power to ensure that my party, a proud Democratic Party, stands true to our best hopes and ideals.

I believe that what we started in this campaign will not end here.

(APPLAUSE)

Our fight goes on to put America back to work and to make our economy a great engine of job growth.

Our fight goes on to make affordable health care an accessible right for all Americans, not privilege.

Our fight goes on to protect the environment, to achieve equality, to push the frontiers of science and discovery and to restore America’s reputation in the world.

I believe that all of this will happen, and sooner than we may think, because we’re America, and America always moves forward.

(APPLAUSE)

I’ve been honored to represent the citizens of this commonwealth in the United States Senate now for 20 years. And I pledge to them that in the years ahead, I’m going to fight on for the people and for the principles that I’ve learned and lived with here in Massachusetts.

I’m proud of what we stood for in this campaign and of what we accomplished.

When we began, no one thought it was possible to even make this a close race.

KERRY: But we stood for real change, change that would make a real difference in the life of our nation and the lives of our families. And we defined that choice to America.

I’ll never forget the wonderful people who came to our rallies, who stood in our rope lines, who put their hopes in our hands, who invested in each and every one of us. I saw in them the truth that America is not only great, but it is good.

(APPLAUSE)

So with a grateful heart, I leave this campaign with a prayer that has even greater meaning to me now that I’ve come to know our vast country so much better thanks to all of you and what a privilege it has been to do so.

And that prayer is very simple: God bless America.

Thank you.

———————————————————————–

BUSH: Thank you all. Thank you all for coming.

We had a long night…

(LAUGHTER)

… and a great night.

(APPLAUSE)

BUSH: The voters turned out in records numbers and delivered an historic victory.

(APPLAUSE)

Earlier today, Senator Kerry called with his congratulations. We had a really good phone call. He was very gracious. Senator Kerry waged a spirited campaign, and he and his supporters can be proud of their efforts.

(APPLAUSE)

Laura and I wish Senator Kerry and Teresa and their whole family all our best wishes.

America has spoken, and I’m humbled by the trust and the confidence of my fellow citizens.

BUSH: With that trust comes a duty to serve all Americans. And I will do my best to fulfill that duty every day as your president.

(APPLAUSE)

There are many people to thank and my family comes first.

(APPLAUSE)

Laura is the love of my life.

(APPLAUSE)

BUSH: I’m glad you love her too.

(LAUGHTER)

I want to thank our daughters who joined their dad for his last campaign.

(APPLAUSE)

I appreciate the hard work of my sister and brothers.

BUSH: I especially want to thank my parents for their loving support.

(APPLAUSE)

I’m grateful to the vice president and Lynne and their daughters who have worked so hard and been such a vital part of our team.

(APPLAUSE)

The vice president serves America with wisdom and honor and I’m proud to serve beside him.

(APPLAUSE)

BUSH: I want to thank my superb campaign team. I want to thank you all for your hard work.

(APPLAUSE)

I was impressed every day by how hard and how skillful our team was.

BUSH: I want to thank Chairman Marc Racicot and…

(APPLAUSE)

… the campaign manager, Ken Mehlman…

(APPLAUSE)

… the architect, Karl Rove.

(APPLAUSE)

I want to thank Ed Gillespie for leading our party so well.

(APPLAUSE)

BUSH: I want to thank the thousands of our supporters across our country. I want to thank you for your hugs on the rope lines. I want thank you for your prayers on the rope lines. I want to thank you for your kind words on the rope lines.

I want to thank you for everything you did to make the calls and to put up the signs, to talk to your neighbors and to get out the vote.

(APPLAUSE)

And because you did the incredible work, we are celebrating today.

(APPLAUSE)

BUSH: There is an old saying, Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers; pray for powers equal to your tasks.

In four historic years, America has been given great tasks and faced them with strength and courage.

Our people have restored the vigor of this economy and shown resolve and patience in a new kind of war.

BUSH: Our military has brought justice to the enemy and honor to America.

(APPLAUSE)

Our nation has defended itself and served the freedom of al mankind.

I’m proud to lead such an amazing country, and I’m proud to lead it forward.

(APPLAUSE)

Because we have done the hard work, we are entering a season of hope.

BUSH: We will continue our economic progress. We’ll reform our outdated tax code. We’ll strengthen the Social Security for the next generation. We’ll make public schools all they can be. And we will uphold our deepest values of family and faith.

We’ll help the emerging democracies of Iraq and Afghanistan…

(APPLAUSE)

… so they can grow in strength and defend their freedom.

BUSH: And then our service men and women will come home with the honor they have earned.

(APPLAUSE)

With good allies at our side, we will fight this war on terror with every resource of our national power so our children can live in freedom and in peace.

(APPLAUSE)

BUSH: Reaching these goals will require the broad support of Americans.

So today I want to speak to every person who voted for my opponent.

To make this nation stronger and better, I will need your support and I will work to earn it. I will do all I can do to deserve your trust.

A new term is a new opportunity to reach out to the whole nation. We have one country, one Constitution, and one future that binds us.

BUSH: And when we come together and work together, there is no limit to the greatness of America.

(APPLAUSE)

Let me close with a word for the people of the state of Texas.

(APPLAUSE)

BUSH: We have known each other the longest, and you started me on this journey.

On the open plains of Texas, I first learned the character of our country: sturdy and honest, and as hopeful as the break of day.

I will always be grateful to the good people of my state. And whatever the road that lies ahead, that road will take me home.

The campaign has ended, and the United States of America goes forward with confidence and faith.

BUSH: I see a great day coming for our country and I am eager for the work ahead.

God bless you and may God bless America.

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